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Talking about money is often a touchy subject for couples, whether you’ve been together for years or just starting a relationship. But, this topic, hard as it may be to discuss, is a crucial one to the success of your long-term relationship.
Studies have shown that Gen Z and millennials are breaking up over money, 33% and 31% respectively , with millennials fighting with their partners about money over anything else. [1]
But it doesn’t have to be this way. Financial compatibility is key and it starts with open, honest conversations. Having aligned financial goals and values can help avoid major conflicts stemming from money. You and your partner have to be on the same page financially, and this doesn’t mean you need to earn the same amount, it’s about how you both manage money together.
When do you start talking about your finances together?
There really isn’t really a set timeline as to when you should talk about money but a good rule is to have that conversation when things are starting to get serious. You definitely want to do this before making any big life decision that will impact the both of you.
What financial conversations should you have with your partner?
Short-Term Goals
These are things like upcoming vacations or travel plans or any major purchases you have upcoming. This could also be what your budget looks like for the next month or two.
Long-Term Goals
Your future financial goals are also a crucial conversation to have. These are future plans that could impact the both of you after all so you want someone who’s aligned with your goals and can help you reach them. These are things like purchasing a home, retirement, or passive income strategies.
Spending & Saving Habits
Chances are, we’re not going to meet someone who has the exact same financial habits as we do but it’s important that you’re aware what each person’s habits are when it comes to money. Are you more of a saver than a spender? Is that something that you both can adjust to be more aligned?
Financial Responsibilities
These days, it’s common to have a dual-income household so having the conversation of who pays for what has become a prominent topic when discussing financial compatibility. It’s important to have these set, whether you want to combine finances in the future or prefer to have separate accounts and designate a person to pay for certain expenses.
Investment Mindset
It’s also important to have a conversation about each other’s investment mindset. You don’t want to just find out one day that your significant other has invested all their hard-earned money into the latest crypto meme coin. Or if one of you loves real estate and the other prefers stocks—how do you compromise?
Find out if they’re more of a risk-taker or if they want to play it safe. You could also discuss what percentage of your finances you’re willing to shell out for your joint investments.
Having these important conversations can not only teach you about the other person’s money mindsets but can also help you discover yours.
So, should couples combine their finances or keep them separate?
Well, there’s not really one answer to that question. Each couple is different and each person in the relationship has their own financial goals and baggage. Let’s go over some of the most common ways couples are handling their finances.
Fully Combined
This is probably the simplest way of handling finances as a couple. You both combine everything you earn, and any expenses get taken out of the same account. This provides the most transparency when it comes to finances since you both can see what’s being put in and taken out of the account.
But, a big downside to this is the loss of financial independence. You might find yourselves questioning every person’s expense and purchase (especially if one person earns significantly more) which in turn, can lead to more arguments and resentment.
If you’re planning on fully combining and integrating your finances together, you need to thoroughly discuss this together and set some healthy boundaries.
Partially Combined
This is when each partner would keep their own personal accounts while sharing an expense account. This would mean that each partner would add to their expense account every time they get paid and all their expenses (bills, rent, etc.) would be taken from this.
Partially combining your finances could be a good arrangement provided that you speak with each other about how much you would both put in and what expenses would be considered when spending your joint money.
Some couples go 50-50 while some put in a percentage of their respective incomes. It’s totally up to you.
Fully Separate
You can also keep everything completely separate. This works for some couples, but there needs to be clear agreements.
For example, you might pay for groceries and utilities, while your partner covers the rent and occasional date nights.
This kind of arrangement works differently for every couple and provides the most independence when it comes to handling your finances.
Final Thoughts
At the end of the day, love and money don’t have to be at odds. While financial discussions can feel awkward at first, they are essential for building a strong, lasting relationship. Taking the time to align your financial habits, set clear goals, and establish an investment strategy together can help you build not just a secure future, but a stronger relationship, too.
